Tag Archives: Are you kidding me?

Rule #566

Rule #566:  I do not speak in hums. If you want me to answer you, use words. 

 

 Thanks, Jennifer M.

 

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Rule #559

Rule #559:  It is not okay to begin speaking exclusively in exaggerated fake Chinese because you think it sounds cool. Especially at your birthday party that you invited your adopted Chinese cousin to.


 Thanks, Emily M.


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Rule #548

Rule #548:   Do not sit in the spot on the couch where your brother just puked.


 Thanks, Carrie HW.


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Rule #544

Rule #544:  When you insist on wearing your Halloween costume as pajamas & you pee in it at 3am, please don’t scream at me for not having it washed & ready to go by 6am.

 

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Rule #533

Rule #533:  When I am already late and have 10 minutes to get your brother and sister to their school, you to your preschool, and me to work, it is not a good time to put my keys in the refrigerator so that they will “stay fresh,” causing me to be 15 more minutes late to work and to have to relate this story to a disbelieving and unsympathetic boss.  This applies to your brother’s shoes as well.


 Thanks, Michelle C.

 

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Rule #527

Rule #527:  If you are thirsty and would like something cold to drink, please do not take a glass out of a dishwasher that has just completed its heated drying cycle.  If there are no other glasses or cups to be found, at least allow the glass to cool down before pouring cold red Kool-Aid into it.  If you forget all of the above and do it anyway, please tell me immediately rather than marveling at the cool science trick you just discovered while standing amidst shards of broken glass as red Kool-Aid runs off of my counter and onto my newly painted bright white cabinets.

 

Thanks, Michelle C.

 

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Rule #524

Rule #524:  No, you cannot feed your tooth to the dog.

 

Thanks, Misha S.

 

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Rule #514

Rule #514:  You may not play the recorder at 6am when everyone else in the house is still sleeping.  


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Rule #509

Rule #509:  Your brother is not required to apologize to you for hurting your ears when he sneezed.  

 

Thanks, Carrie HW.

 

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Rule #508

Rule #508:  You may no longer borrow Mommy’s camera.

 

 

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