Rule #289: I am so glad that you are confident in yourself, but it’s ok if the kitty wanders into the bathroom. I promise that the size of your penis will not scare the kitty if she accidentally sees it.
I am the Meanest Mommy in the Whole Wide World. I am forced to make rules & observations that I never knew would be necessary before I became a parent.
Rules by the Meanest Mommy in the Whole Wide World 
if a toy goes in the dog’s butt, it then goes in the garbage.
OMG, that cracked me up. I am adding that to my list to use in the future. 🙂