Rule #264: I know how much you like your new iPod, but that is no reason to video record every minute of our lives, including Mommy coming out of the bathroom in a towel.
Rule #263: When I allow you to pee standing up like Daddy, it is not okay to poop at the same time.
Thanks, Irma C.!
Rule #262: The green things in your nose are not peas.
Thanks, Sara G.!
Rule #261: Please refrain from throwing Legos or Matchbox Cars at Mommy while she is driving. And if a police officer pulls her over for accidentally running a stop sign while trying to avoid being hit in the head with these items, please do not scream at the officer to save you and get you away from the mean woman who is not your mother. Mommy does not appreciate that.
Thanks, Mariel B.!
Rule #260: Mommy is always right. But if you manage to find documented proof that what she said is not correct… Mommy was just testing you.
Thanks, Beth T.!
Rule #259: It is not necessary to write your name on your bed sheet. We know it is yours.
Thanks, Jennifer Z.!
Rule #258: When I say, “Yes you may wait in the car, but do NOT open the doors,” it also means do not fold the seat down and jump out of the trunk to surprise me.
Thanks, Lynn S.!
Rule #257: When I give you two reasonable options, answering, “Neither; I hope you die!” is not going to end well for you.
Thanks, Jill J.!
Rule #256: Cereal found under the couch (or under the pew cushions at church, or your coat pocket, or the bottom of Mommy’s purse . . . fill in the blank) is not an appropriate snack.
Thanks, Andrea B.!
Rule #255: When at our friend’s house for a playdate, please do not steal her beer and replace it with your sippy cup.
Thanks again, Betsy R!