Monthly Archives: January 2012
Rule #478: Please do not take your yogurt and spoon with you to the bathroom to continue eating while you poop. I promise the yogurt will not go bad sitting on the kitchen counter, and it will still be there when you finish “taking care of business.”
Thanks, Cori H.
Rule #477: Permanent teeth do not grow back. You may want to not pull them out.
Rule #476: Please do not scrub the bathroom walls with the toilet brush. It’s not as helpful as you think it is.
Thanks, Amanda H.
Rule #475 (which is more of an observation & less of a rule): If the meanest mommies of the world didn’t have to count out each goldfish cracker, pineapple chunk, jelly bean, and popcorn kernel to make sure everyone gets the same amount as everyone else in the house, we could use our extra time to cure cancer, discover alternate energy sources, and end world hunger.
Rule #474: Do not whine to me that our dog just looked at you when he’s not even inside the house.
Thanks, Julie F.
Rule #473: When I tell you that you have to put on a shirt to help me cook (because you’re currently just wearing pants), please don’t come back from your room wearing ONLY a shirt. This is not multiple choice.
Thanks, Beth T.
Rule #472: When people come to visit us, please do not strip down and run around yelling “Look at my big penis!”
Thanks, Jessica W.
Rule #471: You may not turn your baby brother’s exersaucer into an imitation of Disney’s Teacup ride.
Thanks, Meghann M.
Rule #470: It is not polite to pinch little old ladies at Wal-Mart just because they get too close to you when they are telling Mommy how cute you are.
Thanks, Michelle C.