Rule #371: I appreciate your efforts to be so self-sufficient about pottying, but the only appropriate places to pee are the toilet or the potty chair. Squatting over a cereal bowl isn’t much better than just peeing on the floor.
Thanks, Sarah R.!
Rule #370: If you don’t know what something is, it’s not a good idea to lick it.
Rule #369: No armpits on the air conditioner blower. Even when you’re really hot.
Thanks, Bekki P.!
Rule #368: Please do not wake Mommy up after she has worked a 12 hour overnight shift to tell her any of these things:
Your sibling changed the channel you were watching on tv
You’d like a snack
You feel like wearing shorts
Thanks, Beth K.!
Rule #367: Just because the cat likes to drink out of the toilet, this by no means gives YOU permission to do the same. Please use a cup… and the sink.
Thanks, Warkenda C.!
Rule #366: If you would stop experimenting with new ways to pee and just stick with the tried and true method used by men for centuries, you wouldn’t have peed in your eye.
Thanks, Michelle C.!
Rule #365: You may not goose total strangers at the post office. Or anywhere else.
Thanks, Meaghann B.!
Rule #364: Don’t touch the eggs!
Thanks, Shaye M., and my sympathies. 😦
Rule #363: No, I will not give your brother a time-out for name calling. He called you “Leelia.” That is your name.
Thanks, Betsy R.!
Rule #362: No, you may not give the cat fashionable lavender highlights with the paint we’re using on your bedroom walls.
Thanks, Sinclair S.!