Monthly Archives: March 2011
Rule #435: Please do not eat the peaches (or any other food, really) once they have fallen off your fork and landed on your penis.
Thanks, Melissa M.
Rule #434: Mommy does not give time-outs to your siblings for looking at your breakfast.
Rule #433: Please do not tell the waitress, “If you want to take me home, I’m available.” You’re 6, and she’s 27. I’m pretty sure it won’t work out between you two….
Thanks, Beth T.
Rule #431: Thank you for helping by feeding your sister breakfast, but pouring an entire box of Rice Krispies into her crib is not ok!
Thanks, Amy E.
Rule #430: You may not lick the utensils at Pizza Buffet after using them.
Thanks, Michelle B.
Part I – Toilet lid goes UP when you pee and DOWN when you’re done.
Part II – It is NOT OK to tell Mommy that it’s no big deal if you forgot because her BUTT is too big to fall into the potty.
Thanks, Robyn H.
Rule #428: You are not a cat, a dog, or an overheated kangaroo. Stop licking your arms.
Thanks, Melissa T.