Rule #402: Please do not sing “I like big butts.” Loudly. At McDonald’s. At a large woman.
(Part II of this rule for the Meanest Mommies… Do not EVER let your child hear the song “I Like Big Butts.”)
Rule anonymously submitted.
Rule #401: The five second rule does not apply to liquids. Please do not try to suck the milk out of the paper towels after Mommy has wiped it off the kitchen floor.
Thanks, Meaghann B.
Rule #400: Fifty pounds of bread flour does not belong in the family room.
Thanks, Danelle S.
Rule #399: While it is a novel concept to have two places to pee, if you start at the urinal, it is not okay to finish at the toilet.
Thanks, Mia C.
Rule #398: It is not okay to say, “Get outta here, Lady!” to the woman at the supermarket who tells you that you have pretty earrings.
Thanks, Vicki F.
During family photos, do look at the camera and smile.
During family photos, do not pinch/hit/push your siblings, pee in your pants, fall in the water fountain, growl, refuse to smile, close your eyes, and cry/whine/complain.
Thanks to Betsy R. for the photo!
Rule #396: Please don’t tell me I have a drinking problem when I spill water on my shirt in the car. I know you thought it was funny when Daddy said it at the kitchen table, but it will be hard to explain if you say it in front of the wrong person.
Thanks, Rebecca F.
Rule #395: You are required to wear the costume/snow suit/dress up clothes for at least as long as it took me to get you dressed in it.
Rule #394: Mommy will not apologize for “hurting your feelings” by asking you to carry your own backpack inside.
Thanks, Maggie S.
Rule #393: Before loaning your friend some Matchbox cars, you may not put them in your pants and make “car testicles” with them.
Thanks, Carrie HW.