Monthly Archives: March 2012
Rule #504: You may not call 911 to complain about your mom taking your nerf gun away.
Thanks, Anne M.
Rule #503: The toilet plunger is not a sword, and you may not hit your sister in the face with it.
Thanks, Tiffany L.
Rule #502: It is not acceptable to comment on the size of mommies “booboos” in public. It is even worse to tell other women that your mommy has bigger booboos than they do.
Thanks, Jessica W.
Rule #501: It is not acceptable to cut your eyelashes with scissors.
Thanks, Jen T.
Rule #500: If you are at a friend’s house and take a big bite out of the foam on their trampoline handle, don’t try to blame it on the child who owns the trampoline. It doesn’t take a forensic dentist to know that your friend’s extra tooth gives them a VERY distinct bite mark that could never be confused with yours.
Thanks, Beth F.
Rule #499: Please do not wipe the snot off your face with your hands. Or your feet.
Thanks, Kimberli R.
Rule #497: Please do not scream, “You’re not my mommy! You’re not my mommy!” as I try to pick you up from the floor of the toy store while you are having a tantrum, and then cling to me in fear when you see mall security coming.
Thanks, Andrea K. (who bravely admits, “Fortunately for me, my child has not done this. Unfortunately for my mother, I did.”)