Rule #533: When I am already late and have 10 minutes to get your brother and sister to their school, you to your preschool, and me to work, it is not a good time to put my keys in the refrigerator so that they will “stay fresh,” causing me to be 15 more minutes late to work and to have to relate this story to a disbelieving and unsympathetic boss. This applies to your brother’s shoes as well.
Rule #527: If you are thirsty and would like something cold to drink, please do not take a glass out of a dishwasher that has just completed its heated drying cycle. If there are no other glasses or cups to be found, at least allow the glass to cool down before pouring cold red Kool-Aid into it. If you forget all of the above and do it anyway, please tell me immediately rather than marveling at the cool science trick you just discovered while standing amidst shards of broken glass as red Kool-Aid runs off of my counter and onto my newly painted bright white cabinets.