Category Archives: Uncategorized

Rule #538: 5 Steps of Grieving for the Parents of Picky Eaters

5 Steps of Grieving for the Parents of Picky Eaters

  1. Denial – This is no big deal.  It’s just a phase.  I’m sure you’ll be hungrier tomorrow.  If I keep putting healthy food on your plate, you’ll eat it.
  2. Anger – Why me?  This isn’t fair!!!  Are you freaking kidding me?  You liked this exact same thing last week.  I worked really hard on this healthy meal, and YOU ARE GOING TO EAT IT!!!
  3. Bargaining – Just try it.  I’m begging you. If you try the green beans, you can have some dessert.  What about the pasta?  If you eat your pasta, you can have a sticker on your sticker chart.  And a tootsie roll.
  4. Depression – Why do I even bother making meals for you people?  Cooking for this family is the hardest job in the world.  I think I’m going to cry again.
  5. Acceptance – Just have another peanut butter sandwich, Honey.


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Meanest Mommy Monster

Knitted Together (one of the local yarn stores) had a knitted Monster Contest.  Here is the monster I entered and the related story.  I was thrilled when Meanest Mommy Monster won the contest and I received $60 worth of yarn.  🙂  If you’re on Ravelry, you can look at the project here.

Mama Monster has 2 kids, 1 kid on the way, and a bad dye-job. (She tried to get the dye-job fixed, but she couldn’t find a sitter.)

Mama Monster is so highly-evolved that she has grown a third arm and a pair of eyes in the back of her head, and she has caffeine coursing through her monster veins. Despite these additional maternal features, she is still exhausted and can’t keep up with the laundry.


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2010 in review

Hello, readers! Meanest Mommy took a good long break over the holiday and is now refreshed and ready to post more rules in 2011. Stay tuned for a new post tomorrow, and keep those rules coming to MeanestMommysRules (at) gmail (dot) com. In the meantime, enjoy this 2010 summary.

The numbers

Featured image

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 180,000 times in 2010. If it were an exhibit at The Louvre Museum, it would take 8 days for that many people to see it.


In 2010, there were 176 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 418 posts. There were 19 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 12mb. That’s about 2 pictures per month.

The busiest day of the year was October 5th with 4,748 views. The most popular post that day was Rule #392.


Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were,,,, and

Some visitors came searching, mostly for cornstarch, corn starch, meanest mommy, meanest mommy blog, and meanest mommy rules.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.


Rule #392 October 2010


About March 2009


Rule #275 March 2010


Rule #261 February 2010


Rule #229 December 2009

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Rule #286

Rule #286:

  • Part I for my daughter:  When you first see your brother trying to open the 10 pound bag of grain, that would be a good time to come get Mommy.  Please do not wait until he has opened it and has proceeded to grind it into the carpet all over the entire living room.

  • Part II for my son:  Under no circumstances may you dump a ten pound bag of grain all over the living room.  And if you do, please do not grind it into the carpet all over the entire living room.

Thanks, Abby G.!

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Rule #130

Rule #130:  When you jump out of the shower to scare your brother while he’s peeing, don’t be surprised when you get wet.

Thanks, Beth K.!

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Rule #90

Rule #90:  Don’t eat while you’re walking with animals between your legs.

Thanks, Jodi R.  I’m hoping you’ll come on & decipher this one.  What in the world does this mean?  😉



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Rule #78

Rule #78:  Just because Mommy left the room does not mean it is ok to throw your dinner at each other.


Thanks, Becca W.!


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Rule #73

Rule #73:  You are old enough to do that when you can lick your elbow.

Thanks, Lauren C.!  And how many of you just tried to lick your own elbow?  (I know you did… admit it!)


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Meanest Mommy is out of town

I am out of town at a birth conference.  I asked Meanest Daddy to write some guest rules, but he says that the kids are behaving perfectly so far.  Hmmmm…..  are they REALLY behaving better for him?  Or does he just want me to think that?


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