Monthly Archives: March 2010

Rule #270

Rule #270: No, those are not chocolate chips laying on the floor of the goat barn. Please do not eat them.


Thanks, Lea PH!


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Rule #269

Rule #269:  Do not tell your teacher that you feel “damn fine” or tell Grandma that her food is “damn good”.  It makes mommy look bad.


Thanks, Megan S.!


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Rule #268

Rule #268:  You many not pull the dog’s teeth with your Handy Manny pliers.  He needs them to eat.  And by the way, the tooth fairy CAN tell the difference between dog teeth and your teeth.


Thanks, Amy W. (the Meanest Mommy of a 4 year old desperate for a visit from the Tooth Fairy and the owner of a dog who gets a nervous tic when shown the Handy Manny tools)!!


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Rule #267

Rule #267:  Please do not discuss comparative gender anatomy with strangers.  Most especially, do not speculate on the size of the hotel clerk’s nipples in comparison to Daddy’s.


Thanks, Joseph E-H!


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Rule #266

Rule #266:  When we are in a crowded restaurant and I am ready to leave, you are not allowed to say “Just a sec” because without thinking, I will loudly reply, “I’m not giving you any more secs!” and that will be very awkward for me.


Thanks, Jodi P.!


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Rule #265

Rule #265: When you choose a treat at the store, you can not turn around and ask me for a different treat because you changed your mind, AFTER you already ate the first treat you chose.


Thanks, Katie A.!


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