Tag Archives: dog
Rule #524: No, you cannot feed your tooth to the dog.
Thanks, Misha S.
Rule #474: Do not whine to me that our dog just looked at you when he’s not even inside the house.
Thanks, Julie F.
Rule #439: If you are thirsty, just ask Mommy for a drink. Do not help yourself to the dog’s water.
Thanks, J’s Mom.
Rule #428: You are not a cat, a dog, or an overheated kangaroo. Stop licking your arms.
Thanks, Melissa T.
Rule #305: If a toy goes into the dog’s butt, then it goes in the garbage.
Thanks, Jodi S.!
Rule #268: You many not pull the dog’s teeth with your Handy Manny pliers. He needs them to eat. And by the way, the tooth fairy CAN tell the difference between dog teeth and your teeth.
Thanks, Amy W. (the Meanest Mommy of a 4 year old desperate for a visit from the Tooth Fairy and the owner of a dog who gets a nervous tic when shown the Handy Manny tools)!!
Rule #222: When Mommy is in the shower for 3 whole minutes, you may not:
Try to push the dog in there too
Flush the toilet multiple times
Throw her towel in there with her
Climb on the counter to get a snack
Rule #216: When I am at the most exciting part of the novel I am reading to you every night at bedtime, please do not stick the dog whisker up my nose to poke my brain.
Thanks, Kristin W.!
Rule #194: Do not brush the dog with your toothbrush. Or with Mommy’s toothbrush.
Thanks, Erin A.!
Rule #157: Please do not kiss the dog’s anus.