Category Archives: Guest rules

Rule #267

Rule #267:  Please do not discuss comparative gender anatomy with strangers.  Most especially, do not speculate on the size of the hotel clerk’s nipples in comparison to Daddy’s.


Thanks, Joseph E-H!


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Rule #266

Rule #266:  When we are in a crowded restaurant and I am ready to leave, you are not allowed to say “Just a sec” because without thinking, I will loudly reply, “I’m not giving you any more secs!” and that will be very awkward for me.


Thanks, Jodi P.!


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Rule #265

Rule #265: When you choose a treat at the store, you can not turn around and ask me for a different treat because you changed your mind, AFTER you already ate the first treat you chose.


Thanks, Katie A.!


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Rule #263

Rule #263:  When I allow you to pee standing up like Daddy, it is not okay to poop at the same time.


Thanks, Irma C.!


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Rule #262

Rule #262:  The green things in your nose are not peas.


Thanks, Sara G.!


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Rule #261

Rule #261:  Please refrain from throwing Legos or Matchbox Cars at Mommy while she is driving.  And if a police officer pulls her over for accidentally running a stop sign while trying to avoid being hit in the head with these items, please do not scream at the officer to save you and get you away from the mean woman who is not your mother.  Mommy does not appreciate that.


Thanks, Mariel B.! 


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Rule #260

Rule #260: Mommy is always right. But if you manage to find documented proof that what she said is not correct… Mommy was just testing you.


Thanks, Beth T.!


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Rule #259

Rule #259: It is not necessary to write your name on your bed sheet. We know it is yours.


Thanks, Jennifer Z.!


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Rule #258

Rule #258: When I say, “Yes you may wait in the car, but do NOT open the doors,” it also means do not fold the seat down and jump out of the trunk to surprise me.

Thanks, Lynn S.!


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Rule #257

Rule #257:  When I give you two reasonable options, answering, “Neither; I hope you die!” is not going to end well for you.


Thanks, Jill J.!


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