Tag Archives: mom

Rule #379

Rule #379: Licking a pickle does not count as dinner, and therefore, does not make you eligible for dessert.


Thanks, Mike P.!


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Rule #378

Rule #378: When I ask you, “What are you supposed to be doing?” the right answer will never be, “Playing with my privates.”


Thanks, Melissa T.


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Rule #377

Rule #377:  Perhaps I should have been more clear.  You can’t even stick the fork in your OWN eye.


Thanks, Carrie HW!


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Rule #376

Rule #376:  Yelling at the top of your lungs that your sister is smothering you is not going to get you out of going to bed.  Especially if she is in the kitchen with me working on her homework.


Thanks, Raini T.!


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Rule #375

Rule #375: It’s pronounced, “Pylon.”  Not “Cone Penis.”





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Rule #374

Rule #374:  When Mommy has to leave the shopping cart to take three kids into the bathroom stall at Wal-Mart and the lady in the stall next to us is really stinky, please don’t get on your hands and knees on the dirty floor, peek under the wall at the lady next door, and yell at the top of your lungs, “Eeewwwww!!  It stinks in here!!”  Also, please don’t encourage your little brother to join you in doing so.


Thanks, Katie A.


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Rule #373

Rule #373: Please do not scratch your butt with Mommy’s toothbrush.


Thanks, Kristina F.!


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Rule #372

Rule #372:  Please refrain from wetting the watercolor paints by spitting on them.


Thanks, Abby G.!


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Rule #371

Rule #371: I appreciate your efforts to be so self-sufficient about pottying, but the only appropriate places to pee are the toilet or the potty chair. Squatting over a cereal bowl isn’t much better than just peeing on the floor.


Thanks, Sarah R.!


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Rule #369

Rule #369:  No armpits on the air conditioner blower.  Even when you’re really hot.


Thanks, Bekki P.!


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