Rule #550: Please do not put empty cereal boxes back in the cupboard. You do not want to face the wrath of the Meanest Mommy who thinks she’s getting a bowl of Cookie Crisp to start the day and then finds out she’s not.
During family photos, do look at the camera and smile.
During family photos, do not pinch/hit/push your siblings, pee in your pants, fall in the water fountain, growl, refuse to smile, close your eyes, and cry/whine/complain.
Rule #355: When you are in timeout for talking disrespectfully to me at your lemonade stand, that is not the best time to ask about that dog walking business you’d like to start.
Rule #341: No arguing over whether your brother is hungry or not. If he says he is hungry, you can just believe him rather than screaming at him to attempt to convince him otherwise.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Meanest Mommies out there! And thanks to my own mom for raising me into the Meanest Mommy in the whole wide world. I wish you all a day free of whining and complaining and a day where you are appreciated like you should be. Now go hug your kids!
Rule #264: I know how much you like your new iPod, but that is no reason to video record every minute of our lives, including Mommy coming out of the bathroom in a towel.
I am the Meanest Mommy in the Whole Wide World. I am forced to make rules & observations that I never knew would be necessary before I became a parent.
Rules by the Meanest Mommy in the Whole Wide World 
