Rule #81: When I’m holding 80 pounds of groceries and I gently try to move you out of the way so I can get into the house to go pee and you fall over, I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell people that I pushed you in the mud.
Tag Archives: rules
Rule #80
Rule #80: Good grief child, do not stick your head under the mini-trampoline while your brother is jumping on it. Side effects include bent glasses & hurt eyebrow.
Filed under SR
Rule #77
Rule #77: Just because your 9 yr old sister says that the ants will kill you doesn’t make it true.
Rule #76
Rule #76: FYI to the toddler… It is not necessary for you to save up your absolute worst behavior for the following places: the airplane, the middle school band concert, and grandma’s.
Thanks, Teresa S.!
Filed under Guest rules
Rule #75
Rule #75: It is not ok to drop bits of leaves, pieces of twigs, pebbles, etc. down the bathroom sink just because “they’re small enough to fit in the hole, so it can’t clog!” (Mommy would explain the flaw in your reasoning, but she’s too busy plunging the drain right now.)
Thanks, Wendy W.!
Filed under Guest rules
Rule #74
Rule #74: When Mommy goes to the basement to do a load of laundry, it is not an invitation to scream, “MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!” at the top of your lungs.
Rule #72
Rule #72: Mommy is happy to play cats with you, but she draws the line at “licking your fur.” Sorry, kid.
Rule #71
Rule #71: Throwing a shoe at Mommy’s head is not a good way to welcome her home from her trip.
Filed under GC
Rule#69
Rule #69: Banging on the door and screaming, “Let me in, Lady!” is not an appropriate way of getting your mother to let you in the house.
Thanks, Kelly S.
Filed under Guest rules
Rules by the Meanest Mommy in the Whole Wide World 