Category Archives: Guest rules

04/12/2010 · 7:30 am

Rule #299

Rule #299: No, you may not try to set your recently-separated mother up on a date with the much younger door-to-door vaccuum salesperson. And no, you cannot invite him to stay for dinner!

Thanks, Terese R.!

Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as blind date, date, dating, dinner, mean, meanest mommy, mom, parenting, rules, set-up, single parent

04/09/2010 · 7:22 am

Rule #298

Rule #298: You may not coat the cat in applesauce or any other food.

Thanks, Melissa T.!

Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as applesauce, bathe cats, cat, mean, meanest mommy, mom, parenting, rules

04/08/2010 · 7:39 am

Rule #297

Rule #297: Please stop screaming “Mommy! My PEE-NUTS hurts!” in public, especially church.

Thanks Nancy S.!

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Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as church, loud, mean, meanest mommy, mom, ouch, parenting, penis, rules, yelling

04/07/2010 · 6:00 am

Rule #296

Rule #296: It is NOT ok to scream as if you’ve lost a limb, dragging Mommy out of the shower to make you pink lemonade. Or to fix the malfunctioning DVD player. Or to find your other sock. Or because you smell something “weird.”

Thanks, Heather H.!

Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as DVD player, insanity, lack of shower, pink lemonade, shower, socks, weird odors

04/05/2010 · 7:39 am

Rule #294

Rule #294: No matter how delicious it looks, please don’t lick the dustpan. Again.

Thanks, Adrienne C!

Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as dustpan, gross, lick, mean, meanest mommy, mom, parenting, rules

04/03/2010 · 8:22 am

Rule #293

Rule #293: Yes, I am serious. Just because Mommy uses a wheelchair does not make her a chair for your use everywhere we go.

Thanks, Christen B.!

Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as chair, mean, meanest mommy, mom, parenting, rules, wheelchair

04/02/2010 · 7:14 am

Rule #292

Rule #292: When I ask you and your brother to play quietly in the bedroom, I did not mean you should start your own WWF matches and smell each others’ bums.

Thanks, Annamarie A!

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Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as bottom, bum, gross, mean, meanest mommy, mom, parenting, rules, smell, wrestling, WWF

04/01/2010 · 6:00 am

Rule #291

Rule #291: If you choose to play in the mud puddles, you will get a bath afterwards. NO Exceptions!

Thanks, Alisha W!

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Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as bath, dirty, mean, meanest mommy, mom, mud, mud puddle, parenting, rules, toddler

03/31/2010 · 8:45 am

Rule #290

Rule #290: Please do not avoid brushing your teeth as a strategy to get them to fall out faster and speed up visits from the Tooth Fairy.

Thanks, Erin O.!

Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as brush teeth, cavities, mean, meanest mommy, mom, parenting, rules, Tooth Fairy

03/30/2010 · 7:30 am

Rule #289

Rule #289: I am so glad that you are confident in yourself, but it’s ok if the kitty wanders into the bathroom. I promise that the size of your penis will not scare the kitty if she accidentally sees it.

Thanks, Robyn H.

Filed under Guest rules

Tagged as bathroom, high self-esteem, kitty, mean, meanest mommy, mom, parenting, private parts, rules, self-confidence