Category Archives: Guest rules

Rule #528

Rule #528:  When you are waiting in line for communion, it’s not okay to touch the bottom of the person in front of you and say, “boop!”


Thanks, Tyra M.


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Rule #527

Rule #527:  If you are thirsty and would like something cold to drink, please do not take a glass out of a dishwasher that has just completed its heated drying cycle.  If there are no other glasses or cups to be found, at least allow the glass to cool down before pouring cold red Kool-Aid into it.  If you forget all of the above and do it anyway, please tell me immediately rather than marveling at the cool science trick you just discovered while standing amidst shards of broken glass as red Kool-Aid runs off of my counter and onto my newly painted bright white cabinets.

 

Thanks, Michelle C.

 

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Rule #526

Rule #526:  When you decide to ride your bike and you change your mind halfway through, I cannot carry you AND your bike all the way back home.  And throwing a tantrum in the middle of a busy street is not going to convince me.


Thanks, Jessica W.


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Rule #525

Rule #525:  Please take OUT your penis BEFORE you pee.


Thanks, Diana R.


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Rule #524

Rule #524:  No, you cannot feed your tooth to the dog.

 

Thanks, Misha S.

 

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Rule #523

Rule #523:  Using your manners does not include saying “Excuse me poop” or “Sorry poop” or even “Please pass the poop.”


Thanks, Annamarie A.


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Rule #520

Rule #520:  When you see a woman in a black burqa at Target, please do not yell loudly over and over, “Look!  It’s a ninja lady!”

 

Thanks, Dana B.

 

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Rule #519

Rule #519:  You may not pierce your own ears.  Even if you do watch how-to videos on youtube first.


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Rule #517

Rule #517:  Please do not write on the table with your sausage.


Thanks, Chelsea H.


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Rule #513

Rule #513:  When I grab your hand to stop you from hitting your brother – again – in the grocery store, the correct reaction is not to scream, “You’re touching me wrong!”

 

Thanks, Aimee S.

 

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