Rule #321: When we are in public and you find a pair of underwear in your coat pocket, please don’t whip them out and yell, “I FOUND THEM!” in a triumphant voice and then attempt to put them on over your jeans.
Rule #320: When you have a double ear infection and can’t stand on the floor without falling over, it is not the best time to stand on the seat of your bike and let go of the handles to jump up and down. Please sit down.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Meanest Mommies out there! And thanks to my own mom for raising me into the Meanest Mommy in the whole wide world. I wish you all a day free of whining and complaining and a day where you are appreciated like you should be. Now go hug your kids!
Rule #317: Please do not go potty in the cat’s litter box. It does not matter that your sister was on the toilet and you needed to go really bad. Yes, I know you buried your waste just like the cats do, and yes, I know you really like the scent of the pine litter. But it’s still not okay.